


Take My Whole Life Too

by valiantlybold



Series: Not Just A Random Dicking [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: 4k words of self-indulgence bc i need to love on bucky, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Truckers, Anxiety, Anxious Bucky Barnes, Childhood Trauma, Daddy Kink, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Vulnerability, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure Bucky Barnes, Insecure Logan, Insecurity, M/M, No Smut, Non-Sexual Age Play, Older Man/Younger Man, Praise Kink, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Daddy Logan, and i needed logan to love on bucky, bucky is a good boy, but with a few hints of, its what he deserves, just logan taking care of bucky when bucky isnt doing very well, just softness, only brief mentions tho, theyre sad but i fix it i swear, trucker logan, who gets Lots of Praise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valiantlybold/pseuds/valiantlybold
Summary: Why can't Bucky do anything right? How did he fuck all of this up?But Logan makes it better. He always does.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Logan (X-Men)
Series: Not Just A Random Dicking [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1300253
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	Take My Whole Life Too

**Author's Note:**

> bruh
> 
> i was makin dinner and i got bitch-slapped by inspiration so this happened in a couple hours just bc i need bucky to be baby and logan to become his sugar daddy and yes, if ive got the strength for it, im gonna write the fic where they go shopping and out to dinner and spend a lovely night in a fancy hotel room because ITS WHAT BUCKY DESERVES
> 
> (feat. mentions of logans Tragic Past)
> 
> (title from: Can't help falling in love, by elvis presley and a whole buncha other people bc its 1am and i cant pick just one version to highlight)

Logan gets home early, for once. Its only about three pm, and it’s a fucking _blessing_ to walk through the door and immediately see Bucky hunched over his desk in the corner of the living area.

“Hey,” Logan says as he shuts the door.

Bucky doesn’t respond. Logan smiles to himself; the kid always gets so damn wrapped up in his studying. Logan kicks off his boots and drops his keys and wallet and his bag, and hangs up his jacket.

Bucky startles half out of his skin when Logan comes over and knocks softly on the desk.

 _“Jesus Christ!”_ he bites out as he almost topples over his chair in shock.

“Sorry, baby, I called for ya but didn’t seem like ya heard me,” Logan explains.

Christ, the kid looks a mess; his hair’s all messy, probably from how he runs his hands through it every ten seconds, and his glasses are covered in smudgy fingerprints. Doesn’t look like he’s changed out of his pyjamas all day, either. Did he even go to class today?

The desk is in no better state. It’s overrun with textbooks, notebooks, all sorts of pens and pencils and crap, and scattered with empty plates and forgotten coffee cups. Shit, he’s usually a stickler for keeping his work environment all neat and tidy, what the hell brought this on?

Logan steps in behind Bucky’s chair and leans over the back, wrapping his arms around the kid, burying his face in Bucky’s pretty neck.

“Are you done?” the kid asks, though, after a few moments of seemingly just _allowing_ this to happen. “I’m _busy.”_

The older man frowns slightly as he pulls back. He lets his hands stay on Bucky’s shoulders, starting to gently massage out the tension he can feel there.

“Sorry, baby,” he says. “What’s wrong? You seem upset.”

Bucky sighs loudly, shaking off Logan’s hands and hunching over the desk again.

“Just leave me alone. I’ve got stuff to do.”

Logan ain’t much for the _touchy-feely_ crap, but honestly? He’s gotta admit; the way Bucky tells him to just go away, his tone and his voice, everything, it stirs a deep aching sort of hurt in Logan’s belly.

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll just...grab these. And give ya some space.”

Bucky hums, clicking a pen and not listening. Logan swallows the uncomfortable knot he feels start to grow in his throat.

He piles up the discarded plates and cups and takes them off to the kitchen. He does the dishes as quietly as he can. Bucky’s obviously stressed; he doesn’t... He doesn’t want to bother him any more than necessary.

Once the dishes are done, Logan sits on the couch and watches TV with the sound muted.

From some distance behind him, he can now and then hear Bucky muttering and huffing to himself, thinking half out loud. He sighs and groans over whatever he’s studying like it’s physically causing him some sort of pain to work on it.

The knot in Logan’s throat stays no matter how many times he tries to swallow it. After a while, he realizes that that itchy feeling it gives him is _concern._ Worry.

About Bucky.

Somethings wrong, he’s figured out that much. Bucky’s never like this. Even if he’s worried about an assignment or a project or a big test, he’s still never like _this._ He goes in waves from being dead quiet, so focused on studying he’s in danger of getting sucked into his textbooks, to being loud and whiny, begging for any sort of distraction or food or coffee or sex or cuddles, anything at all to take his mind off what he _should_ be doing.

But he _never_ gets like this; angry and messy and forgetful and stand-off-ish.

Either way he gets, he always loves to lean on Logan if he’s there; and Logan loves to be leaned on.

When Bucky’s quiet and focused, Logan does all the other stuff for him; fetches coffee, makes him snacks, cleans the apartment, does the grocery shopping, cooks, anything and everything to give Bucky the opportunity to focus solely on his studies without worrying about everything else.

When he’s whiny and bratty, Logan knows it’s only because Bucky’s _study brain_ is so exhausted that it needs a breaks; he distracts Bucky with TV for a while, and takes him out on the town to get ice cream or pizza or go to the aquarium and the museum, and spoils him with sex and hugs and kisses until Bucky’s a pool of content goo ready to sleep for twelve hours straight, whatever the kid wants, to let Bucky’s big smart brain _rest_ and let the rest of Bucky just enjoy himself for a while.

Bucky _leans_ on him. Asks for help. And Logan’s there. If he’s not out working, he’s _there_ and he lets himself be leaned on, because he loves this lil’ idiot kid and he wants the best for him.

But this? It worries Logan. Bucky’s never been one to push him away. Not in this way, not in anger. Yeah, he might ask for space now and then, and Logan respects that, he doesn’t expect Bucky yo be glued to him around the clock, everyone needs their space and Logan gets it. But- It’s just...

Fuck, Logan’s fucking worrying his head off.

Fuck it. Sitting here like an idiot’s not going to solve anything.

He shuts off the TV and gets up. He walks straight over to where Bucky sits and knocks on the desk again. Bucky hums but doesn’t look up from his laptop.

“Can we talk for a minute?”

“I’ve a lot on my plate, okay?”

“How can I help?”

“You can’t.”

“Must be somethin’ I can do?”

“Yeah. Leave me alone.”

That deep pit of hurt pangs through Logan again. Damn.

“Why don’t you take a lil’ break, baby? Have a shower, a nap? I can fix up some food for ya? Bet you’re starvin’?”

The kid sighs. “Look, I appreciate it, but I’m really stressed right now and I just-…”

Logan takes a knee. He tugs on Bucky’s chair, pulling him away from the desk, turning him to face Logan. He pulls him closer, gets his hands on Bucky’s thin waist, thumbs stroking the lines of his pelvis.

“Baby, tell me what’s wrong,” he says. “Please? I wanna help, but I can’t, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong. _I love you._ I just wanna help, sweet thing…”

Bucky looks at him with tired eyes. He swallows. Logan can see the kid eyes welling up.

“Oh, baby, no,” he says softly, reaching up to pet Bucky’s cheek. “Don’t cry, baby boy, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

But despite Logan’s words, Bucky’s eyes overflow, tears pearling under the rims of his glasses to run down his cheeks. Logan’s heart twists at the sight of his kitten crying.

 _“Kitten,_ don’t worry, Daddy’s here, it’s okay. You want Daddy’s hugs?”

Bucky descends into openly sobbing, as if something breaks loose in him once he knows for sure his Daddy’s there to catch him when he falls. Bucky reaches his arms out, making grabby hands at Logan, begging for the promised hugs.

Logan jumps to his feet. He helps Bucky to stand then wraps his arms around him, just below his cute little butt. Bucky melts against Logan as he’s picked up, wrapping tight around him and crying against his shoulder. Logan hurries over to the couch. He sits down there and Bucky settles in his lap. Logan manages to finagle the glasses off of Bucky, upon which Bucky buries his eyes in Logan’s neck, tears dripping down to wet the mans Henley.

“I got you, honey, Daddy’s got you,” Logan talks softly, whispering as he holds Bucky and pets his shivering back. “Daddy’s right here. Just let it out, baby, let it all out. Daddy’s got you.”

It’s hard for Logan to say how long they sit there, and he doesn’t really care. All that matters is that Bucky needs him so Logan is there, for however long he’s needed and wanted.

Slowly, little by little, Bucky calms. His sobs go from wracked and gutted, to snivels and quiet whines, then to soft, forlorn sighs and wet breaths. The whole time, he clings to Logan; doesn’t let him go for a second. Logan knows his shirt is soaked in both tears and snot and spit, but he doesn’t care.

“You got any more tears in ya, baby?” he asks gently, stroking down Bucky’s wild hair.

Bucky shakes his head, still quiet.

“That’s good, kitten. Why don’t you let Daddy go get you a glass of water and a snack, huh? You must be real hungry by now, yeah? After all that cryin'?”

Bucky hugs him tighter for a moment, then nods and starts to let go. Logan kisses on him with all the love he’s got in him; his wet cheeks and his neck and his head.

“Let’s wrap you up, yeah? Make sure you’re all comfy ‘til Daddy gets back?”

He helps Bucky sit back on the couch and grabs the blankets piled up over the nearest armrest. He wraps two of them around Bucky, bundling him up all good and nice. Bucky snivels as Logan leaves him and it makes Logan _ache_ all over again. Fuck, Bucky’s tears just _kill_ Logan. As promised, Logan fixes him up a tall glass of cool water and makes a light sandwich as quickly as is physically possible for him.

As soon as he sits back down on the couch, Bucky gets in real close by his side, the same way he always begs for cuddles without saying a word. Logan rests his arm around him. He gently wipes Bucky’s face with a tissue, drying his cheeks and cleaning up the drips of snot. Bucky’s eyes are so tired when they look up at him.

He feeds Bucky slowly. The kid drinks in tiny little sips and takes the smallest little bites of the sandwich. It takes a long while, but at least he gets Bucky to choke down half the water and half the sandwich. Logan decides that that’s enough for now, the rest can wait until a bit later.

“How are ya, kitten?” he asks instead. “You wanna tell Daddy what’s got you so upset? If you do, Daddy can figure out how to make it better. Y’know Daddy always makes it better.”

Bucky rubs at his eyes, sniffling. “I was… I’s workin’ on some assignments. Wanted to get ‘em done quick.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“I got-… Startin’ work Monday…”

Logan’s brows furrow tightly. “Work? Why you gettin’ a job? Ain’t school keepin’ ya plenty busy?”

Bucky shrugs. Logan pulls him a little closer and presses a kiss to his head.

“Parent’s made a college fund, y’know, but I got a scholarship, an’ I didn’t need the fund so much, and we decided I'd have an apartment instead’a the dorms, and use the fund to pay rent and mom and dad take the utilities ‘cause they wanted to help,” Bucky rambles, hardly stopping to breathe once he’s finally started explaining. “A-A-And I tried t’be good an’ save an’ stuff, but the fund’s _run out,_ and now rent’s late and I’m gonna get kicked out and I can’t ask mom and dad ‘cause dad just retired an’ they said they’re goin’ on a big vacation ‘round the world ‘cause they never got to have a real honeymoon, and I don’t wanna be a burden or get in the way, s-so I found a job and I gotta get my homework done so I can work double shifts and make up for rent, but my laptop’s gettin’ old too and it ain't workin' right, 's all slow and stuttery a-a-and keeps deletin' my work when I'm almost done, and my phone's a mess too, so I gotta buy new ones 'cause _school,_ and I just-”

He stutters to a halt finally, gasping for a breath to fill his lungs. Logan hushes him, wraps his arms fully around him, hugs him tight.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay, Daddy understands. All just too much pressure on ya, didn’t it, kitten? All just piled up a lil’ too high?”

Bucky snivels. “Yeah,” he whimpers.

“Well, here’s what we’re gonna do, baby,” Logan tells him. “All’a this stuff? It can wait ‘til tomorrow.”

_“But-”_

“Hush, now, baby boy,” Logan stops him. “Just listen to what Daddy’s tellin’ you. _You_ are gonna try to eat and drink a lil’ bit more. It’s okay if ya can’t, but Daddy just wants you to give it a try, yeah? Then if you’re feelin’ strong enough, we’re gonna take a shower together, get you all clean and freshed up, make you feel a lot better. Lastly, you and me are gonna tuck into bed, and you’re gonna _sleep_ and Daddy’s gonna hold you the whole time.”

Bucky tries to resist. He tries to say he needs to study still, he’s still got things he needs to finish, but Logan sways him with tight hugs and soft kisses. That always makes Bucky go so soft and sweet, and it does now too; he _knows,_ deep down, that Daddy wants to help, Daddy knows how to help, Daddy will make it better, Daddy can fix everything. He lets himself be convinced. He lets himself be fed just a little bit more, and lets himself be spoiled rotten in the shower by Logan soaping and washing his body and massaging the headache out of his scalp with that one shampoo that smells like jasmine.

Logan doesn’t feel the tension really leave Bucky’s body until they’re cuddled up in bed.

*

When Bucky wakes up, Logan’s already been up and about for a few hours.

Luckily, he’s sitting on the bed with a cup of coffee, petting Bucky’s head which is tucked in against Logan’s hip, so he quickly notices when the kid starts to stir.

“Hey, baby,” the man says, keeping his voice soft and low.

He sets his cup aside on the nightstand and scooches down a bit, just enough for Bucky to curl up against him properly. Logan is more than happy to wrap his arm around him in return.

“How you doin’, kitten? You still a lil’ sweet on me?”

 _“Mmh,”_ is all he gets is response.

“That’s okay, baby. You wanna rest a lil’ more, or you want Daddy to run get you some breakfast?”

Bucky weasels out one of his hands from under the covers just enough to hold up two fingers; _option two, please._

Logan smiles. “Alright, kitten. You just worry about wakin’ up good an’ proper, and Daddy’ll get you a nice breakfast in bed.”

Bucky disappears fully in under the covers and makes a happy little noise while doing it. Logan smiles fondly.

He’s already got most thing prepared and waiting, so getting it all put together doesn’t take as long as it normally does. He moves as quickly as he can too; he doesn’t want to keep his baby waiting. Finally, he can climb back into bed with the big tray he once bought just for this purpose (he _does_ love to spoil Bucky in the mornings, sometimes).

Bucky finally looks like he’s joined the land of the living, and he’s got a little more color in his cheeks and the tiniest little smile on his face when Logan joins him.

“Here we go, kitten, just for you. C’mon, dig in, baby, must be starvin’ by now.”

Bucky is _happy_ to dig in. Logan sips his coffee, smiling as he watches on.

When Bucky lets out a content sigh, Logan knows he’s done. He takes the tray and puts it aside on the floor. Fed and full, Bucky slips himself in under Logan’s arm for cuddles. Logan smiles and kisses his head.

“Did good, kitten. Ate up all that food, drank all your water, without even complainin’. You were so good for Daddy. Made Daddy so proud’a you, baby.”

The kid lets out a bashful little giggle, hiding his blushing face against Logan’s body.

Logan takes a deep breath. He prepares himself.

“Alright, baby boy, I’ve got some serious stuff that I wanna talk to you about. If you’re okay to listen, we can do it now. If you’re still a lil’ messy, that’s okay, we can wait ‘til a lil’ later. You think you’re up for it, kitten?”

By then, Bucky’s looking at him with those big blue eyes, curious and questioning. He blinks a few times, his soft, pink lips pouting as if he has a question in mind but doesn’t quite yet know how to ask it.

Instead, he nods his ascent.

Logan runs his fingers through the kids soft hair.

“That’s good, sweet thing. If it gets to be too much and ya need a lil’ break, just gimme a pat and we’ll have a hug-break, yeah?”

That makes Bucky smile, his eyes shutting tightly in delight. He nods again.

The older man takes another deep breath. He’s not much for talking a lot, but… Here goes.

“Good. Now, uh… I woke up a while before you so I sat down with your laptop, went to my internet banking thingy, and sorry to intrude, but, uh, I sorta rifled through yer desk. Just to find the rent bill. Took care'a it. Utilities too. Set it up to auto-pays too, so you don’t need to worry ‘bout none’a that.”

Bucky’s brows are drawn up tight, an almost distressed look on his face. He shakes his head with a jerky motion.

Logan hushes him softly, caresses his face, and it stills him somewhat.

“Baby, listen t’me. I been _basically_ livin’ here rent-free for a couple months now! Figure it’s just right to help out. Hell, I’m _happy_ to help. In case you didn’t notice, I’m kinda homeless? Before you, I was sleepin’ in the truck most nights. A motel, if I was feelin’ fancy. Hell, my mailin’ address is a work-friend’s place. I _wanna_ pay the rent. For this month, and every other month you’ll let me. _All of ‘em,_ if I have a say in the matter.”

Bucky still has a slight frown on his pretty face, but he rests his head on Logan’s chest again, as if to surrender to the good points that Logan made.

“More’n that, I got this online order thing put in too. Haven’t _made_ the order yet, but it’s waitin’ for confirmation or whatever. I’m gettin’ you a brand new laptop and a new phone. I dunno exactly what kinda needs you got, so you can have a look at ‘em later, see if you’re good with my choice or you wanna change somethin’ out. And before ya start arguin’ with me, I ain’t done. When yer feelin’ better, today, t’morrow, whenever ya got the strength for it, I’m takin’ you out on the town and I’m spoilin’ you rotten, baby boy. You point, I buy. Have a fancy dinner in a nice restaurant, get you a lil’ tipsy on that nice wine you like, and if we’re feelin’ extra fancy, I’ll get us a nice hotel room and spoil you all over again, all night.”

God, why is that little distressed look so painful yet adorable to Logan?

“But-… So much money?” Bucky says, not much more than a whisper. “Why?”

Logan lets out a breath. He hugs Bucky _tight_ for a few moments, pressing kisses, kisses, kisses, on his pretty little head.

“’Cause I love you, kitten. And in case ya hadn’t noticed, I ain’t the spendin’ type. I’ve basically been stockpilin' my paychecks for _at least_ a couple years. And, uh… I mean. Don’t much like talkin’ ‘bout it, but… I got family money, I guess? Don’t ever really use it much, not for m’self anyway.”

“What?” Bucky asks

“Yeah. I mean… Been givin’ money away now and then. Charity, helpin’ friends, things like that. Never had anythin’ I really _wanted_ to spend it on, though. ‘Cept you. _You,_ I wanna wrap up in silk and gold and diamonds and make sure ya never work a day in your life, keep you all to myself and just treat you like the most beautiful lil’ thing I ever seen. Like you deserve.”

He feels Bucky shake his head. “No. No good. Not me.”

Logan has to smile. “Kitten. I’d give ya the world if it were mine to give. All the money I got, I’d give it straight to ya in a heartbeat. I’d do anythin’ for you. I’d kill and die for ya, if ya asked me to. Baby, if you wanted it, I’d rip my heart straight outta my chest and hand it to ya. Whatever ya ask’a me, I’d do it. I’d give it. _For_ you, _to_ you.

Bucky is quiet. He hugs Logan tighter.

“Ain’t never loved anyone like I love you, baby.”

Bucky sniffles. Logan knows these tears aren’t the same kind of tears as yesterday. These are better tears, he can feel it.

“Love you too, Daddy.”

**Author's Note:**

> its 1am and i am Tired, and whatever spelling/grammar mistakes u can find are a product of those two things


End file.
